American women are now paying Indian surrogates.

As a society we should have a problem with this. First we accepted, without argument “elective cesarean section” for rich women who sit in Starbucks browsing the latest gene catalogs to engineer themselves the perfect child by selecting the sperm. Much like they selected the unique interior of the Mercedes SUV they intentionally double parked. Now these same women will claim they “can’t have their own kids” and ship the selected sperm and their eggs off to India where they’ll pay a surrogate mother around $5K US dollars to be pregnant for them.

So, a 42 year old woman who feels she’s “achieved enough success” in her business and social life to finally have kids can ship off some eggs, some select sperm and viola! In about 10 months Fed-Ex delivers a healthy new born. Now all she’ll have to do is hurry and hire the nanny so she can avoid having to do the annoying parenting part until she’s in her 60’s. After all women of this importance can’t afford to let go of too much “me time” can they?

I hope that by the time my kids are in high school there aren’t so many of these unnatural kids running around that they end up getting labeled. I’ve always called them “Vetros” and Amy hates it (I’m told it’s not nice to stereotype). These kids won’t be intellectually superior or have super human strength for all the selective process that goes into them. They won’t be ultra successful because mommy and daddy were rich, aristocratic assholes. They will be normal kids with delusional parents. The same parents who will be in their late 50’s trying to understand why their investment just got busted driving drunk for the second with half a joint in the ash tray and two tickets to the High Times Cannabis Cup in the glove compartment.

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