No, I will not shave my legs.

Definitely not now.  I am being hassled by several people I ride with during the week to “get with it”.  Apparently I will miss the benefits of embrocation.  Until recently I didn’t even know what that is.  It’s muscle warming gel.  Hmmm.   Sounds like glorified Icy Hot.  Here are the main reasons I will not shave my legs to ride a bike:

1. My legs are still skinny.  They must be proportionally stronger than most other riders because I’m laying waste to many guys in their 20’s and 30’s during 18-20 mile FSR rides but they are still skinny.  I’m still having a hard time adjusting to Lycra after a decade without it.  I couldn’t imagine shaving yet.  I’ve actually been told I should shave if for no other reason than “it’s sexy”.  You mean scary?  I have small calves and 40 year old, scared knees.

2. It’s mostly vanity.  Unless you need that extra few seconds in a road race (I don’t ride on the road) then there are absolutely no performance advantages.  If I learn that I could drop a few minutes off 10 miles off road then I might be more receptive.

3. I want to be the underdog.  I want a podium finish to prove fur can blur.  Go ahead.  Size me up.  Look at my skinny, hairy legs and get confident.  Then try to figure out why you are losing sight of my ass while I put a 1/4 mile between us.

It’s easier to get away with unshaven legs at a mountain bike race than a cyclocross race.   There is no where near the level of roadie saturation in MTB.  If I learn that this mysterious “embrocation” holds value during the CX season, September to January, I might consider it.  Of course, that would also be during the months that I wear jeans to work so I can pull it off without shock and awe.

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