I played at the Zebulon Country Club this week.  Overall it’s a very good course as far as conditions go.  Among local courses I would rank the fairways and greens slightly above Lochmere and Wil-Mar.  It’s definitely way better than nearby Wendell Country Club (which is barely a golf course anymore). We were told the greens may be a mix of bent grass and Bermuda.  They were almost as good as the bent grass greens at Carolina Country Club.

It’s not a long course and has some easy to par 470 yard holes.  It’s got a couple of easy to birdie par 4’s if you’re even slightly better than me.   All-in-all it’s a course worth going back to many times, again based on the conditions.  But it does have one really bad problem on weekdays: lots of grumpy old men.  I mean, these old timers are straight evil and angry that anyone under 55 years old dare, yes dare, come on their course.  They play with no golf etiquette, none, zero.  They don’t finish out their putts from five or ten feet and then proclaim “ya, I scored a 74 today”.   Right, minus any putting at all.

Since they don’t putt out once they hit the green they’ll pick up their ball and tee off immediately while the group in front of them is still on the fairway.   One thing is for sure, these old coots won’t slow you down.  They’ll spray the ball to bejesus, usually on to another fairway, and then without warning or any dialog drive their carts straight onto a fairway someone else is playing to hit their shots.   We were playing fast (pars and bogeys) but one group behind us was so bad we let them play through since no etiquette, hurry up golf was their thing.  Only to have another Geritol gang come up behind us and almost hit us with a ball (literally) as we  finished putting.  I said something the the effect of “You need to slow down and chill”.  To which one old man replied “No, you need to move boy!”.   So I replied “No. I do not and will not”.  I know what they’re trying to do because I’ve seen it before.  It’s an ego trip for these old guys to be able to say they can play 18 holes in 2 1/2 hours or less, score be damned.  It happened a lot at Winton Country Club in Virginia where the average member age is probably 62.  Nothing makes them prouder than to have the “youngun’s” let them play through.  Somehow in their minds this equates to better golf.  Never mind taking the time to make shots that score low.

I’ve decided to try this course another day at a time later in the afternoon to see if the “Geritol Thugs” might be less of a distraction.   The first time I went to check the location and prices a really nice manager was offering some attractive membership rates.  Even with the wonderful turf this course has, if you’ve got to sacrifice playing a complete game to let angry old people who don’t really care about quality golf have their way, it’s not worth it.  The attitude of regular patrons can make or break a golf course.  I’ve played many, and these regulars are the absolute worst I have ever seen despite the sign coming into Zebulon that says “Home of Friendly People”.  Ya right, friendly people that think they own a golf course because it’s the only one they play four times a week.  I hope my next experience is better so I don’t have to leave these great turf conditions to the cranky old coots.

Who would have thought it was possible?  I thought Daryl threw away our rain check for 9 holes at Hedingham.  Not only did he keep it but yesterday he wanted to use it.  I agreed thinking it couldn’t be any worse than it was last time.  Man was I wrong.  The little guy at the counter was accomodating when we arrived, letting us go straight to the back 9.  But the very next thing that happened was the start of the worse 9 holes of golf I’ve ever experienced. 

There were two carts to choose from.  One was swarming with flies, so our choice was obvious.  The cart lasted about six holes.  Daryl pushed it up any hills the last three.  But before we even got started we had a portly guy with a crew cut, who looked to be in his 20’s, come along and ask to see our receipts to play.  Hmmm.  We just walked out of your club house with a cart key jackass… Anyway.  This guy felt it necessary to assert his authority on a couple of guys in their mid to late 30’s who are obviously into stealing free golf games at the course with the worst conditions in the area.  Never mind the little thugs all over the place.

So let’s talk about the little thugs on the bikes all over the neighborhood cart path.  They were swarming and didn’t care if we were coming through in a golf cart on the cart path, oh no.  We would go around the dumb little thugs and accomodate them for the money we paid.  At least at Wil-Mar, or any other clubs we play we won’t find groups of kids gathering on the cart paths or near the greens to smoke behind their parents backs.

So we left the cart at the 18th green because it just wouldn’t make it up the last hill to the club house.  We went inside to let them know.  Guess who we got to talk to?  Mr. Insecure, respect seeking, loser with an attitude.  Yep the same asshole who demanded to see our receipts to play his cheap *!itty course.  We expected an apology or something but no.  All this aggrevated guy would say is “our phone number was on the scorecard”.  That’s it.  Nothing else.  This displays the attention this “Golf Club” pays to protocol on a golf course.  I don’t even take my cell phone and I don’t want to hear anyone elses ringing on the course.

Look guy, you made your life choices and now you’re a manager or assitant greenskeeper or something at the worst golf course near Raleigh I’ve ever played.  Deal with it and get your attitude right.  The only thing that could have made this course any worse is unhospitable staff.   Now Hedingham has nothing going for it: a bad course in a low end track home neighborhood full of staff who seem to have a chip on their shoulder because they’re reduced to working there.  It makes for a lot of mental challenge for your game that if overcome, just might make you a better golfer.

So I paid $40 to play 18 holes at Hedingham golf course in Raleigh yesterday.  It was the absolute worst course I have ever played on.  Other courses in the area that are in the same price range make this course look like the field in the back of my house.  It was litterally hard to tell the fairways from someones back yard.  They were full of crabgrass and the greens were full of holes and flattened weeds that looked like they had been smashed flat with a mower.  And big burn marks that looked like a cart had peeled out from the greens and left huge skid marks.  This is not a lie: there was a Dandylion growing on a green.

It was so bad we only played 9 holes and told them we wanted our money back.  They refused and gave us a rain check that we promptly threw away.  Everyone knows a course has to be bad to keep our crew from playing.  On the 8th hole we came across one of the greenskeeping staff sitting next to the tee box in a small greens truck.  He procedeeded to hand roll himself a cigarrette (it appeared to be a real, tobacco cigarette) and then talk on his cell phone at full volume as we tee’d off.  At most reputable courses this would get him fired based on a complaint, but not Headingham.  At one point my ball even landed in a man made hole in the middle of a fairway.  The kind of hole a kid digs in his back yard.  Why would anyone play this course when Wil-Mar is right down the road for the same price?

Avoid this “golf course” and save your money.  It hardly even qualifies as a course because it’s mostly a bunch of undefined fairways in the back yards of townhouses.  I feel bad for those who bought actual houses surrounding the “Hedingham Golf and Athletic Club”.   That’s nothing to be proud of right now.  It’s the worst course conditions in the area and should only cost a fraction of what other courses cost to play.  But it doesn’t.

I can now officially say I have played the top three golf courses in the Raleigh, NC area: Northridge, Prestonwood and now the Carolina Country Club.  The beautiful thing is I only had to pay at one of them.  How is this possible you ask?  It’s who you know.  And since I don’t know any rich doctors, lawyers or local politicians I rely on the greens keeping staff.  My people are the ones the rich have labeled the “working class”.  I had the chance to hit a 28,000 sq. foot house with a golf ball but I didn’t.  Hows’ that for “conservative”?

Daryl now has a job at the CCC.  I am not talking about the Carolina Country Club in Spartanburg SC.  I’m talking about the one hidden inside the beltline off Glenwood Ave. in Raleigh.  The Carolina Country Club is still not racially integrated and to my understanding blacks are still prohibited from playing there.  Very sad.  This factor alone is keeping me from rating it the best place I have ever played.  It is definitely one of the nicest courses I have ever played, right in line with Prestonwood and Winton Country Club in the mountains of Virginia.

One of the coolest things about the CCC is that I may be getting to play there as much as twice a month for free if Daryl has his way.  This will be AWESOME if it becomes reality.  I dunno, Daryl likes to play golf and the only thing better than playing at a course like this is playing on it for free.  Look at me – I can’t afford a new car but I’m playing golf at clubs with $50,000 membership initiation fees and $125 guest fees.  Amy, I now have an obligation to play more golf and get better so I can live up to the honor.  Even if it is at my home stompin’ grounds, the good ‘ol Wendell Country Club or Wil-Mar golf.

Yesterday we walked the back 9. It was HOT.

Among other things I went to the driving range. It was HOT.